The big question every couple should answer before it is too late is when to let go of a long distance relationship and when to hold onto a long-distance relationship. In the 21st century, some relationships, dating, marriage, or general interpersonal relationships will suffer one of the following;
- Lack of communication.
- Lack of commitment.
- Lack of vision or goal.
- Trust issue.
In today’s world, people want to enjoy their relationship even while they live 100 miles apart. But how is this possible seeing that some tend to let go and others do know when to let go of a long distance relationship? Are you part of the 55% who are scared that their partner will meet someone else? You can find out more about long-distance relationship statistics HERE. Let’s talk about how and when to let go of a long-distance relationship and not be scattered.
When to Let Go of a Long Distance Relationship
1. When it is no longer serving its purpose
The purpose of anything is not known unless told by the manufacturer. Both of you started a relationship to get married or maybe just to enjoy the spark while it lasts. You feel out of cause and depressed because you are now trying to get that purpose back on track whereas the other party has left the purpose or is abusing it. Once you perceive or conceive in your heart that your relationship is no longer fulfilling its purpose, please leave. If you don’t, you may get hurt and will bleed on someone who didn’t hurt you.
2. As soon as your intuition tells you to go away no matter who it is
Before going into intuition, let’s understand what it truly means. Well, according to the oxford dictionary, the word intuition means the ability to understand something instinctively, without the need for conscious reasoning. That’s superb. The human body has the ability to pick electromagnetic impulses and that’s why you can tell if something went wrong in an environment before you got there.
And that’s how you can also pick the signals of separation between you and your partner the moment you start talking. Sometimes your intuition may not seem to be right because you can’t see clear signs at the moment but if you give it time, it will unfold and you will see that he/she has left you in that position for a very long time. Don’t rely only on your intuition alone, do some research and questioning before deciding what to do next. You don’t feel like making the decision alone, you can reach out to your mentor, parents, relationship coach, or your best friend.
Do you have a relationship coach or mentor that you can always talk to and ask questions about how to handle tough situations in your relationship? If you don’t have one, you should get one that is sure of what he/she is doing. Don’t go to someone who can’t keep a partner for more than 3 weeks or even be in a relationship and be secured in it. The blind will always lead you to the end of a ditch. Don’t downplay the help of an experienced individual because some information can save you 5 years of struggle in your relationship. Pick the good piece you get and leave the bad ones there.
When is a long distance relationship over?
A long distance relationship is over when you both decide it is. You don’t have to see an advert on TikTok, or Snapchat to know that your long distance relationship is over. Before the end of every true relationship, there will always be a strain on the hearts of couples. The reason is that you have shared a part of your life that you can never get back no matter what happens.
Sometimes you don’t want to let go maybe because of how much you have invested in your relationship to make it work. The best thing you need to know is when to let go of a long distance relationship if you don’t see a future anymore and you know it. Don’t try to change the other person who doesn’t want to change. The more you try to hold back, the more it hurts. Don’t become a victim of yourself. Be free.
3. Communication dwindles
One of the signs that show you’re relationship is about to drown is that you start shutting yourself out from your partner in communication. Communication is not just words alone but words with your emotions. You say how you feel and you put your emotions into it. Once you start backing out of every act of communication in your long distance relationship, you are slowly killing the bond and it will definitely die. [READ: HOW TO MAKE A RELATIONSHIP BETTER WHEN IT IS BAD]
Once there is no communication again there will be no room to open up your heart toward your partner. If he/she lives in another country and you don’t feel like talking and sometimes when you talk, you don’t think it necessary to say things that open up your heart to them your relationship will crumble. When your communication dies, other things begin to die slowly. You have to make sure your communication is alive and active.
Tell me the best way to quit a long distance relationship?
The best way to quit a long distance relationship without hurting the other person is by telling them why you’re breaking up. Don’t just be like a child and say it’s over and can’t give a solid reason why you can’t continue with the relationship. Parting ways with the understanding that the relationship did not work out because you didn’t do something right is actually a good thing.
Because, in your next relationship, you won’t make the same mistake with a guy/lady now that you have learned about the little things that spoiled the relationship you had. The best way to settle issues is not by shouting or throwing things at your partner but by sitting down to talk about it. You can also use facetime if you can’t see physically.
Tell me the best time to stop a long distance relationship.
The best time to stop a long-distance relationship is when you have the truth about what’s going on. It can be your now or today after reading this article. I believe that time is relative and you may not be in the same time zone as me. You don’t have to wait until a seer tells you that you’re in a ditch and it is time for you to come out before you do. The moment you can’t find yourself or your partner in your relationship, it is the best time to let go of a long distance relationship.
If you don’t feel like it is the best time to stop because you don’t want to hurt your lover or make him/her feel ashamed, then you need to devise a means of letting it go without causing an uproar between you two.
I know it will be hard to let go sometimes but don’t worry because you’re doing both of you a favor.
Tell me the best way to let go of long distance relationships.
If I suggest that you just cut off immediately when you have decided to let go of your long distance relationship, it will be childish and more hurtful than a normal breakup because the person will not know where the mistake happened or if he/she was the cause of your breakup. The best to let go of a long distance relationship is by having a dialog. This means you both talk about it and you state the reasons why you don’t want to continue with the relationship.
Don’t hold back the reasons because it may also help to heal faster. Not everybody will make it to the end of each relationship goal they set but the few will be willing to let go of the pains and heartbreaks the past has caused and move on with the intention of having a beautiful relationship.
Say it as it is and don’t paint it to feel sorry for yourself. You don’t have to die in silence because you don’t want to hurt people with your words and decisions. I’m not saying you should go about hurting people with words but you have to know when you’re the priority. Let’s face it, you can’t please everyone on this earth.
4. You start to feel bothered and insecure
The moment you start feeling bothered and insecure in your long distance relationship then, it’s time to let it go. You are safe in a relationship if you don’t feel bothered each time your partner is going away or you’re going to see a friend. Emotional security in a relationship is crucial and needed. You can bring a beautiful relationship to an end in 1 minute by insecurities.
Don’t go into a relationship if you have trust and loyalty issues. Because the moment you start suspecting everything your partner does, you will poison their heart towards you and make them start thinking of a second option. If you feel like you don’t have the security you had when he/she was with you, then you need to start thinking of how to break from the relationship.
5. You sacrifice a lot to be with them
Have you seen relationships where it’s just one party that’s pushing for the relationship to work? Well, 98% of that type of relationship doesn’t work. A relationship is a long journey and the other party must be willing to go with you. Have you lost so many things that you regret as you’re in this relationship? If you have made sacrifices and your partner has also done the same then you shouldn’t think of letting go unless you have other reasons.
When you’re the only one making sacrifices and you don’t see any sign of appreciation and reciprocation, please make a run for it because you’re not in a relationship but in a food chain where you are the host and they are the parasites. When you make sacrifices in a relationship, it shows that you really care and love the person.
6. You’re falling behind in your personal goals trying to maintain the relationship
You should be considering a breakup if you lost sight of your goals when you started the relationship. One of the advantages of relationships is that they will help you achieve your goals even if it is a lousy ones. So you not seeing that goal in your subconscious or your fantasy is a dead end. Visualization is helpful when looking forward to getting or achieving something in life. Imagine you lost that power after your relationship became long-distance.
Once you see yourself falling behind every goal you set and you’re trying to maintain the relationship then you need to make a move for your mental and emotional health here. When checking off every goal you have written as successful does something to your mind and when you don’t have a goal to check off your list of goals, you will be tired and frustrated in that relationship and soon you will hate each other for no clear reason.
7. Constant suspicion
Have you lost your peace and it is because of your partner? Well, at this point the trust is broken and both of you have been separated. This will get you suspicious every time he/she is on the phone with you. When you have lost your peace and trust you will become suspicious and it can make you demoralized.
Once you begin to have trust issues and your peace is gone all of a sudden, your suspicion steps in. It is a risk because you will look over your shoulders and be on your heels whenever your partner says he/she wants to go out. If you want to free yourself from it then break up the relationship.
8. There are too many changes
When you begin to see negative changes that don’t seem right in your relationship especially when it is a long distance relationship, you need to stop. Change is a good thing because you need change to grow even in a relationship. When the change is constant and it is good, you should embrace it. If you see changes that lead to negative conditions in your relationship then you should start thinking about cutting from it. Change will affect you no matter how small or big and it will have a clear reflection on your relationship. [READ: HOW TO HAVE A LONG LASTING RELATIONSHIP]
Accept change when it comes but vet it to see what effect it has on you. Don’t be too quick to accept something new without checking to see if it is really good or bad. This change has affected a lot of people in relationships today and has caused a lot of heartbreaks because we don’t understand how to use the change properly. Change is good and it doesn’t happen without cause. Change will always lead to new things but not all new things are good for you.
9. Communication breakdown
Communication is the bedrock of every successful relationship. But if there is no communication in any relationship, it will surely end and it can’t be revived except through communication. When you stop talking in your relationship, you are in the position of losing everything you have. Effective communication will open new possibilities in a relationship and ineffective communication will also open possibilities in a relationship. Don’t think that talking alone will make your relationship work and be fruitful.
We can talk and not have communicated. Communication is usually defined as the transmission of information.[READ: HOW TO TALK TO A GUY]
Once you start having communication failures in your relationship, it doesn’t matter if it is long or not it will crumble. Don’t just say words to your partner and feel like it doesn’t make any difference. Words made you get a girlfriend/boyfriend although mixed with emotions. Words are very powerful and it is a tool for communication. Don’t just talk, communicate. Add your emotions to your words and see the effect.
10. Most (if not all) of the time you are unhappy and overwhelmed in the relationship
It gets worst when you feel like you don’t know what to do. Happiness is key in every relationship. When you lose your happiness and your balance in a long distance relationship you are vulnerable to anything. When you are happy and balanced in your relationship, you are more likely to stay and make it work than to break up from it.
If you find yourself drowning in a long distance relationship then you need to leave that relationship. I know some may say oh I benefit from it because he/she gives me money and takes me shopping but that doesn’t mean anything. You should be heading somewhere in every relationship and even if the journey is hard it shouldn’t make you overwhelmed and helpless.
11. When it’s no longer a healthy relationship and there’s nothing to gain from staying together
You can know when to let go of a long distance relationship when it has become profitless and toxic. Life is measured in time and if you give someone or something your time, you’re giving them your life. So, if the relationship is taking more from you and yet you keep depleting in knowledge, mental capacity, and emotional stability then you need to leave that relationship right away.
When you can’t stay in a relationship again, don’t just make a move because you think the fault is from your partner. Think about it first and then decide if the fault is from your partner and you can’t come to verbal agreement to settle it. Sometimes, you may be the one who is toxic in your relationship but you may not know because you haven’t checked yourself well enough to fully understand where the problem is coming from.
When it falls down to you making the best decision for your life and relationship, think it through and make the best decision for you. [READ: HOW TO MAKE YOUR BOYFRIEND HAPPY OVER TEXT]
12. You don’t know which way to turn
If you ever get to the point where you don’t know where in your relationship, you have come to a dead end and you should buy another train ticket and go somewhere else or you can chose to remain in one position and suffer.
When indecision steps in, you will actually lose focus of the future and what to do next that will help you in life. Remember that time is crucial and you don’t want to waste your life trying to hold on to that which is not taking you anywhere. You should know where to turn and how to turn when you see a dead end and this you should do with your partner but if he/she can’t even think of what next to do, then you need to bail.
Finally, beautiful people, a long distance relationship will only work when you make a decision to make it happen. You can read on how to have a long lasting relationship and see the way out of a long distance relationship. You will enjoy your distance relationship if you do the right and remain faithful and loyal to your partner.
If your long distance relationship 3 or more of the signs listed above then you should make a move for it. But after reading how to have a long lasting relationship, and you don’t know if you should continue or not, follow your heart.